Oh, this is just too funny!

Well, at least it is to me. You see, I don't think much of people who can't enjoy a night out (whether at the local or a nightclub) without snorting a line. From Britain's Sky News comes the most amusing story 've seen in quite a while:

WD-40 USED TO FIGHT COKE

"A new weapon is being launched in the war on drugs - WD-40.

The household lubricant, usually used for such challenges as loosening rusty screws or stopping creaky doors, is being deployed by pubs and clubs. They are spraying it onto lavatory cistern tops to stop punters going into the toilets to snort a line of cocaine.

The oil-based, colourless WD-40, disssolves cocaine so when the user spreads it on a surface that has been sprayed, the drug turns into a mush and is unusable. If the taker does try to snort it and it gets up the nostril they will end up with a bad nose bleed.

The use of WD-40 is the brainchild of PC Graham Pease, a liquor licensing officer, who first launched the idea in Bristol. He said: "When the drug comes into contact with the WD-40 it becomes unusable. "It congeals into a mess then semi-dissolves and prevents it being sniffed."

Carl Brown, landlord of the Mailcoach Inn, Swindon, said: "It makes the blood vessels in the nose bleed; at first I found tissues and pools of blood. It's proving very effective."

Ingenious, innovative & cheap. You gotta love it!

Good timing, Mr. Environmental Editor

Just as Al Gore chose New York City's coldest day in decades to deliver his fire & brimstone Global Warming diatribe (at a moveon.org environmental conference last year), The Independent has chosen to sound its' own eco-alarm nearly one year from the day when Al Gore's base realized he was certifiably insane (speaking in tounges tends to do that to us secular folks). As to the logic of environmental editor Michael McCarthy playing Cassandra on the heels of record snowfalls both in the UK (last week) and the US (this past weekend), let's just say the envirophants are their own worst enemy:

Countdown to global catastrophe

"[The report] breaks new ground by putting a figure - for the first time in such a high-level document - on the danger point of global warming, that is, the temperature rise beyond which the world would be irretrievably committed to disastrous changes. These could include widespread agricultural failure, water shortages and major droughts, increased disease, sea-level rise and the death of forests - with the added possibility of abrupt catastrophic events such as "runaway" global warming, the melting of the Greenland ice sheet, or the switching-off of the Gulf Stream.

Unfortunately, the article divulges that one of the champions of the report is none other then Senator Olympia Snowe (R-ME), a RINO (Republican In Name Only) of the first order, as well as the UN. With friends like this, who needs enemies? Ah well, perhaps she can still be 'saved': Sen. Snowe is now on my list to receive a copy of Bjorn Lomborg's The Skeptical Environmentalist: Measuring the Real State of the World, courtesy of courtesy of Amazon.com

A little common sense can do a girl a world of good!

The Chairman of Nokia wishes to return to the cooperative days of his youth ...

The Chairman of Nokia, the mobile phone giant, is criticizing The West, citing a direct link between conservatism and the so-called "individualism" threatening to disintegrate community values. Of course, the United States comes in for the major portion of Jorma Ollila's disdain:

"What I'm worried about is that if this disintegration of values continues and develops further, we'll get a conservative counter-reaction precisely like what has actually happened in the USA," he said.

"This ultraconservatism, coupled with the elements of the church ... which, as we well know, has also supported the current (U.S.) administration, is a powerful counter-reaction to a longtime vacuum of values in society," Ollila said.

Come again? The U.S., and our President, has been roundly criticized by the Catholic Church, which has called the Iraq situation and unjust and immoral war. The Presbyterian church has chosen to divest itself of all Israeli investments, citing the U.S. and Isreal as the true villians in a "war" against the Palestinians. I don't know what "Church" he's talking about, as it doesn't exist. And BTW, Jorma, one of the things we must realize as we become adults is that the ideals of our childhood were contructs our parents created in order to protect us. Childlike ignorance is bliss, they believed, and in time we would be ready to face the realities, often harsh, of life. To continue to yearn for them far into one's adulthood is a bit naive, n'ect-ce pas? Obviously, the adult world hasn't been too rough for you, and you can thank the U.S. for the fact that Finland is a free nation able to capitalize on its' technological prowess.

From the "Yeah ... Right!" files

Say this along with me in your best Elmer Fudd impression:

"Poo wittle Senat-uh Barbara Box-uh"

According to The Washington Times' headline Sen. Boxer takes victim role after hearing for Rice, the B*tch from Berkeley is claiming, in essence, that "Condi started it!" Behavior like this is so petty, so unbecoming of a person of her stature, that I am completely at a loss to explain her continued presence in Congress.

Can any Californians explain to me what qualities this shrill woman brings to the Senate that you would continue to elect her again, and again, and again? Because, like the people of Massachusettes who elect anyone with name Kennedy, you're beginning to get on the rests of the country's nerves. Could you at least think before you vote?